Category: Jin

Rude Jerks

On By ravonlockeIn Jin, JournalLeave a comment

The City looked pretty cool. It has all its own lights glittering in the dark and reflecting off the ice. So, we head right on in. We have to climb over a statue of a giant with a mouth in its belly to get in, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

There’s a field with a shiny black thing in the center, so I go immediately to look. It’s a playing field, but it hurts Doc when he tries to follow. Then a lady in the sky says I can choose my team for chained lightening, at least, that’s what the mage lady said she said. I pick the whole group, but Eggy doesn’t want to play. It’s a really fun game. I grabbed up the metal ball first and threw it at the sparky trident at the end of the field, then it started sparking, so I grabbed it up again and threw it at the other team. I don’t think they were really real, cuz the one that got hit, and the one next to him exploded. Then I did it again, and then Leshy got the ball, but he let me throw it, and I exploded the last two guys, as well. Then the lady in the sky gave me a black shiny trophy goblet thing. I am the Best at Chained Lightening!

Then we got to the big tower. There’s a massive golden ball out front, but the ball and the tower are behind a big invisible wall, and Sammy can’t get us through it. The mage lady says we need to make a key to get in. I try all the keys I’ve collected, but none of them work. So, we head back to one of the towers to start looking for keys.

The first tower we look at is covered in runes and it gets really confusing when Doc and I go in, but only for a minute. Up in the top of the tower is an anvil and hammer with blue runes on them. And six big bald guys like the ones that exploded in the game, except they have armor instead of matching clothes. The mage lady says there’s dragon writing on the ceiling, but when I try to go look at the hammer, the bald guys attack us. Sammy says they’re constructs, so we turn them off by hitting them a lot. After, Doc breaks a bunch of demon rock items we still had in bags, and the weird saddle that enslaves the rider. The mage lady says the ceiling says we have to shield our hear with a wand of a nether oak. Wands aren’t good shields, but we decide to go check out the forest in the city.

We wander through the city to the forest of yellow leaves. Eggy talks to one of the trees, and it says there’s a big oak in the center. We go find Grandfather Oak in the center of the glade. I chat with him and offer to trade him for a wand, he doesn’t want things we have. So, I tell him we’re going to kill a goddess if he helps, and he likes that more, and starts to hand over the wand. Then Sammy! Sammy drains all the water out of Grandfather Oak! Sandro and Doc help me get the wand before it gets broken, and everyone else kills him! I tackle Sammy after the fight. That was rude, we were in his home! He was giving us what we needed! He says Saalym told him to because the Oak was evil. So, I have another argument with Saalym about good and evil and her stupid judgy god.

I get mead from Leshy and we head back to the nearest tower to see if there are more hints. Is good mead. Love mead, tastsh like home. Some flying statues attack us on the way out. Stupid statues. They’re all shmashed now. The wand doesn’t open the wall around the big tower.

The next little tower has circles around it. And brooms sweeping inside. Sammy goes for a ride on a broom. The top room has glowing orbs in the walls, and a mini tower in the center, and a bunch of big floating hands. The hands all point at us and then try to grab and smack us. Doc and I kill one while everyone else deals with the rest. Then I go look at the tower.

A magic door opens in the air when I touch it, so I head inside. Everyone follows. There’s three Aunties inside. Aunties Pinch, Pillage, and Plunder in their den. They say they have information that can help us make the key we need, so Doc and I start negotiating with them and all the random items we have. They say they have enough things, but want something unique. They ask for a memory from each of us. Saalym immediately refuses, so Doc and I work out what magic items will make up for her memory. Then Eggy says he won’t do it either. Sammy is willing, and me, and Doc, and the Mage lady. We start trying to negotiate to replace Eggy’s memory, too, but then Sandro and Leshy both say No, too. They are so rude! It’s a fair trade, you don’t need your memories, but we Need to know how to make the Key! They start saying terrible things about the Hags, so I grab Doc and we say sorry and head out. Jerkfaces don’t really want to defeat the stupid goddess lady, won’t even give a memory. Thish meads relgood. I’mma jusht dink til wedon. Shtupid humans. Shammy’sok tho.

Nesht builing is tusky, and dumb. Scooolr sumin. Big room wifancy cup. Is got hot water dun go way. Shtupid humansget majik from it. Shtopid humans. Shtopicup can en tak wif.

Then theresa big book plash. Anna demon. And Saaaaaaalhm dun attack Im! No, helpim! Find shtoopid book? No find. Find buncha boring hishtry. Den attack him for hish pengin. He poofs away. Pengin’s nish.

Down, Down, Down We Go

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I was going to take everyone back to the big blinking head and the ghosts, but then we got distracted by an icy slide tunnel. It just looked like so much fun. So we slide on down to a big cavern. It had some many-legged dragons in it. One of them was really big and curled up around some eggs, the other two were smaller. Awww, dragon family.

They are not happy to see us, though. Eggy is really happy to have big monsters to hunt, and as they attack without talking, there’s not much I can do to stop him. Doc grabs me up and we go swimming into the big warm pool to fight the Mommy dragon-thing. After they all stop attacking us, I gather up the eggs for a nice lunch later on.

There’s another icy slide down out of this cave, too. Down we go! This room is full of icicles. Over on one side is a black dome building with sparkly star designs on it. We go over to investigate and meet some weird elf people. I can’t really understand them, but Saalym and Leshy can. They say the dome belongs to them or their Mom or something. They say we can look inside though, but Saalym and Leshy get weird about it. I look inside anyway. No big magic item to get rid the stupid goddess lady, though.

So, we head down the next tunnel. There’s another dome in here. This one has a wizard statue out front. Some of the icicles in here fall on us. Leshy gets mad at the poor little thing and kills it, but Doc and I put ours back up on the ceiling. Silly little icicles.

The next cavern has trees in it! Real, living trees with purple pears. Underground. I Don’t Like It. There’s paths back home in places like this. Doc wants to go look, though. Then a weird gnoll comes out, and four more people. They have big fangs and pale skin and don’t want to talk. We fight them, and Saalym says the four look like the one who bit her, but they all look different to us. The gnoll vampire turns into mist before we kill him, and floats away, but the rest of them die.

Then a Dryad lady walks out of the forest and asks if we got rid of them all. We tell her about the gnoll mist. She’s been down here a very long time, taking care of her trees. I give her some mead from Leshy’s jug. She really likes it and we offer to help her replant her trees up near Good Mead so she can have more. Eggy thinks maybe if she went into an acorn or a branch or something, we could replant her up above where the sunshine will be after we win. She’ll think about it, but she got really drunk on the mead and needs to take a nap. We’ll come back after.

Doc and I scout ahead, but find a dead end with some spikey guys hiding up on a shelf. We shush them and back up so Eggy doesn’t come kill them for not hurting anybody. We go back to the forest room and take the next tunnel. It’s another slide, but less slidey. And it’s really, really, really long. We’re about to turn around and go back up, but then we find the City Under the Ice. It’s really pretty!

Elks, and Tigers, and Ghosts, Oh My!

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Off to the big ice again. Without Twitch, but with Sammy back! It’s so boring out here. Eggy calls it tundra, but I think it’s just humdrum. Once we get close to the really tall ice, though, it gets more interesting.

First there are a bunch of men in elk hides – Tribe of the Elk, they say. They were looking for us, because their leader with a funny name I can’t spell had a vision. He says Tigers are coming to spill our blood to keep us from what the stupid goddess lady has hidden under the ice. Eggy says there’s tigers with sabers for teeth out here, or maybe it was teeth you could make into sabers. He said I could have one anyway. A tooth, not a tiger. He doesn’t think Yogi will get along with a tiger. The elk leader says it’s probably the Tiger Tribe, not actual tigers. We offer to share our food and the elk people escort us to the path into the ice.

Then we ran into twice as many Tiger people as the Elk people with us. One of them even had a big-toothed tiger! I shout out to warn them not to attack us because we’re just going to kill them. After we kill a bunch of them, I finally convince another bunch of them to surrender. Their leader lady with the tiger doesn’t surrender, though, so most of them die. Eggy does get me a tooth from the tiger, though. Maybe Leshy can make it into a sword for me. I take the lady’s snowflake symbol and Saalym and I carve a silly face into it, so I can wear it.

Then we leave the ones that surrendered with the Elk people and head into the ice. The mage lady reads the end of the goddess lady book and the whole wall of ice opens up. The tunnels are really narrow, Yogi doesn’t like it. We find an old shipwreck in the first room, it’s got a handful of headless skeletons and an iron safe in it. I work on the safe, while some flaming skulls come in and start trying to set everyone else aflame, too. I keep working on the safe while everyone else smashes the skulls. I find a cool bag inside. It doesn’t have money or feathers in it, but I’ll figure it out later.

Doc and I go looking around. There’s lots of dead ends. But there was also a kobold with glowing red eyes, but he doesn’t want to talk to us and runs off. One of the room has those friendly ice flying guys like on the island, but these don’t want to talk to us. It also has part of a tower frozen into a wall or something, with a skeleton inside, but there’s no way in. Saalym and Eggy start breaking down the wall while Doc and I keep exploring.

We find another broken tower. This one has a chest with some potions in it. Then we found the opposite side of the tower room the party was in, but the wrong side of the wall. Then there was a room with a giant metal head in it. It’s eye were glowing and it could answer yes or no questions by blinking. It wants its body back, but the goddess lady didn’t hide him. Then we found a room full of ghosty things, and Doc was too loud to sneak past them. They hurt a lot, but we put them all to their rest. Then went back to the party to rest. Eggy gave me another one of the feel better water vials. I did feel a little better, but still really weak. After we rested for an hour, though, Doc and I felt a whole lot better.

Ambush at the Door

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We took a nap. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe we should have kept going. Everybody gets so tired around here when it’s dark all the time. Maybe we gave the new man too much time to think. At any rate, the next morning was bad.

When we got outside there were a bunch of people waiting for us. Some in robes and some in armor. They looked like the bad people from back in that one Caer where that lady ran away from us. Twitch seemed to know the middle robed guy. Called him Archie or something like that. Then they had a contest of who throw insults better. I think Twitch was winning. But Archie was really awful, and Eggy lost his temper and shot him.

Big old demons start showing up too, or were they devils? I don’t know, they hurt a lot, so Doc and I took them on while everyone else fought the people. Then Sammy showed up, too! He sent a funny do after Eggy and dropped him right into the snow, bleeding out. Saalym really didn’t like this, so she spent the rest of the battle ripping a collar of the demon rock off his neck and reminding him we’re his friends. She didn’t even smite a demon! Or devil? I dunno.

The new man who used to be a copy grabs Twitch’s boss though, and starts to take her away on a sled. Eggy made a big thorny wall in front of them. And people started running and shooting over there. They through the nice lady into the thorns! We killed him and his undead friend. Well, they did, Doc and I were still fighting the demon devils. Sammy even helped us kill them with his funny dogs.

When everything attacking us is finally dead, we get to actually talk to Sammy. The bad lady woke him up, I guess, and the big boss devil demon put the collar on him. They were his friends and helped him. But he still likes us, too. He looks different now, that’s why me showing people what he looked like didn’t work. I got his new face now. Won’t happen again.

Twitch didn’t actually kill Archie, and his boss lady asked him to take him back to Ten Towns for trials. But Twitch was supposed to take us to the city under the ice, why doesn’t She go if she wants him to do trials. Best Friends aren’t supposed to leave! Saalym said so when Sammy left. But Sammy’s back now, and he’ll go with us, but he’s friends with the bad people. Twitch says he’ll try to catch back up with us when we get to the city. I hope he just kills Archie and comes right back. He was awful to Twitch.

Upside Down Tower

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We wandered around on the snow for a few days. Eggy kept making lots of animals for me to play with. And summoning birds to fly around and look for the tower. At first they just found an owlbear. Then they found that same owlbear, but also some ice friends. We had a nice snowball fight, but they don’t know what towers are and can’t talk. But I gave them a wine cork and they gave me a branch with a purple berry on it. Twitch says it’s even better than the berries that Barry and Leshy give us in the morning.

We finally find the tower, but everyone wants to sleep before we go look at it. But it’s Right There! UGH! But we settle down with our bunch of fuzzy friends again. Eggy makes a dome to keep all our friend safe, and Eggy and Sandy so they don’t freeze. Some Bugbears decide to attack us in the night because they can’t see how many of us there are, I guess. Maybe they just wanted to eat the animals. I scold them, but they’re all dead before they can run away. Oh well.

The tower is really strange. There’s no door just a hole with an icy slide. Inside everything is upside down. It’s not supposed to be, though, cuz lots of stuff go broke when it turned over. There are lots of books just thrown about in the first room. Across the hall is a bunch of broken potions. But there’s a chest attached to the ceiling, and it has four not-broken potions in it. It’s a nice chest, too, so I get it all down with Saalym’s help. Guess she’s not mad anymore.

Gotta tie a rope off in the bookroom and go down through a hole in the floor/ceiling to the next floor. This room has two broken cages in it. One’s got a dead insect person like we saw on other ships. There’s another room with books down here, too. All the stairs are filled with rocks and dirt, but there’s also a skeleton with a pipe in one of them. Twitch likes smoking, so I give it to him. There’s a really quiet office room, too, but no magic thing doing that.

We go down the rope through another floor/ceiling. This is more broken things and tables and cupboards and things. And another stone filled stairs, but with no skeleton. Before we can do more, a door opens and the dead wizard murderer from back in East Haven walks in with a dead guy behind him. WHAT!?!

He says he didn’t kill anybody and nobody killed him. Says he’s a simi..simu… copy of that other guy. He doesn’t know anything about any murders. He’s here because that other guy found a room in the tower that can make illusions into real things, so he’s been studying that. Something about needing a spark of life, but that sounds like something you pull out of a body as you kill it, to me. He says he’ll show us.

First though, we check out the rest of this floor. He’s got an office that’s really boring except for a noisy pendant, but Twitch says to leave it alone. And there’s a shrine in the other room to a magic god person. It’s boring, too, though. Until Twitch touches it and it makes a potion. He says it gave him an illusion spell to cast forever. I guess that makes sense with the illusion to real stuff room.

We go down the rope again into a dining room. There’s a couple big lizards with lots of legs in there. Eggy says to not let them look at you, but that doesn’t make sense, so we just kill them. They’re really tasty. The next room is the magic room, so we leave the magic people in there. Doc and I find a bedroom with a broken mirror in it down the hall. There’s also a skeleton, so I look to see if it has anything in its pockets, but a wisp flies out and shocks me, then disappears. So Doc blows his really loud horn, and it snuffs out. But it also makes dirt pour in the windows and a chest appear. So, we grab the chest and skeleton and get out. The door’s just wood, so Doc pulls a metal door off his robe and we put that to hold the dirt instead. The chest is warm and has a fancy book inside, but when I try to pick it up it falls apart.

When we get back to the others, there’s a big gooey mess on the floor and the copy guy is shimmering. He’s a real person now. I ask if he’s going to murder people because Saalym has been looking at him funny the whole time. He says he won’t and promises not to. We invite him to come with us to the city under the ice, but Twitch and his boss want to sleep here before we go onward.