Of Bandits and Death

The bandit cave entrance is surrounded by rotting, severed heads, with one empty spot. Gideon can hear people idly chatting inside, so we head inside. Three men are playing guards in the front-most room, probably they should have been watching the entrance. Embarrassed by their failure, I guess, they immediately attack when we say hello. The swordsmen put two of them down, one rather permanently, and the third surrenders. He was smart enough for that, but is not terribly helpful. This isn’t an established bandit group, it sounds like, just transients that come and go as they will. He doesn’t even know who is in charge today, or how many people are here. The heads outside, he says, came from when the orcs lived here. He does have one interesting piece of information, Hesselwhite is here with a gang. He also says the hall aren’t trapped, so I get to hang back, if we’re trusting him. We leave him and the other live one tied up, and weaponless and head deeper into the cave.

The next room is full of crates and rugs, and two bandits in a rather intimate position. They scurry out of view, as I do the same. Someone shouts out that they are under arrest, but this doesn’t seem to accomplish anything. Eventually, Gideon just walks in and ties them up behind the crates. The things in here aren’t very interesting, except the rugs, but those are too big to carry away without a wagon. We do take the arrows away from the bandits, so they can’t get free and shoot us.

Down another couple hallways, we find a feast hall with six more folks. One welcomes us and invites us in. I guess we could look like bandits, such a strange group as we are. He, Cemund, offers us food and drink. Gideon and Ard accept his hospitality, while Tasha and I stay at the door, confused. When asked about the caves, he says they also avoid the undead. Hesselwhite, he says, brought along 8 other halflings with him, and plans to attack a wealthy caravan. Ours, most likely. They don’t hurt people here, they just don’t have anything, so they steal what they want. He says the gnolls got run out of their caves in another part of the valley, but he’s not sure by what.

We go to talk to Hesselwhite, to ask him politely not to attack our caravan, I guess. I unlock the door to their room, but I missed the needle trap and get jabbed by poison. Slim slows it down so it won’t hurt me anymore. Tasha opens the door, the halflings inside are already barricaded behind their beds, so I head back to a nook to hide until the fighting is done. Hesselwhite manages to run out past everyone and escape the cave, but we tie up the survivors. There’s a stone box in here, that also stabs me, I need to get some glasses or something, I should have seen that. There’s money, gems, and a warm-feeling hunk of jade inside. Gathering up the treasure, bodies, and prisoners, we head out. The other bandits don’t stop us. Slim and some of the other holy folk bury those they killed before we go back to town.

They give the prisoners to Sabine. We let the Chaka know about Hesselwhite and the danger he still poses, and then ask if he’ll take on Terak and Tasha to help us guard. He speaks with them and agrees for the return journey. Mouse buys the stone box from me, and gives me some pointers on spotting traps. We buy some paints to give to the kobolds, and argue about whether to investigate the undead or goblins next. Then we rest up for the night, leaving the question unresolved.

Heading back to the caves in the morning, Cemund and his friends almost rob us, but stop when they recognize us, then bail when stirges show up in force. I hide and get far away from that, but the swords folk put them all down. We get the talkative kobold to come out and accept the paints we brought him. He tells us that the undead cave is mostly orc skeletons, but that there are sometimes humans in weird robes, too. Those weird robed humans are who they stole the dragon egg from, about a month ago. Most of the time those humans go into the caves at the far end of the valley. Laramond wants them to paint rocks to start an art trade with the keep. Sweet child, the people would rather kill than trade with kobolds.

Terak really wants to go after the cultists, rather than the undead, but we’re not sure which of the end caves that is, so he gets overruled. The undead cave smells awful – rotting flesh is an aroma all its own. The left room is full of dead orcs, old dead humans, skeletons, and rats. Laramond says there are undead in the other direction, as everything here is full dead, except the rats.

The other direction holds a common area full of dead orcs as well, women, children, and men, all stacked up. The ceiling ripples with bats. Gideon, throws a dart at a corpse, he must have gotten bored. Skeletons rise up from the piles of bodies and lurch forward to attack. I get right out of there until the noise dies down.

Laramond says there are more undead behind a wall, and we find a secret door. It isn’t locked, so Tasha opens it. There is a small table and chairs, a large chest, and a chalk map on the wall. Slim steps inside and shadows rise up, but he scares it away. I come in to check out the box and get sprayed with blue powered ink – great! Now I can’t see Mouse until this all wears off. So embarrassing! The group takes all the money, and once lifted, I find a key beneath it. Well, that’s mine now. The map is of the area around, with all the dangerous groups we’ve heard about marked on it. Plus, what Laramond says is a Q in the northern forest, and a tower to the west, or is that east? It’s not really on the map.

The next room we find has large rats eating face-down orc bodies, so we close the door again. They want to go in and kill the rats, so I go back and hide under the little table while they do that. My hand is still a bit black with poison. There’s nothing but dead bodies in that room, and they insist on wading through the bodies in the other rooms, too. I get bit by some rats, and all we have to show for it is a jewel-encrusted sword-hilt. Then they decide to set the whole cave on fire to burn up all the dead bodies.

Before heading back to the keep to get my hand properly cared for, we make a tour of the other cave entrances. We find a wooden sign in the goblin language at one, smooth-worked blood red stone at another. A door with skulls nailed to it that invite us inside. And the foul odor of some great beast emanating from another. Right, so a couple options for the cult, and one Terak says we should Really stay away from. Back to the keep to rest. Is it time to take the Chaka to the southern border, yet?

Report 10: The Illusk Ruins

I just want to state that this was not my idea, and I think it is a bad one, but as I have been tasked to keep this group alive, I went with them.

Ruined Buildings

  • The original town of Illusk was always in conflict, attacked and sacked repeatedly, then rebuilt.
  • Eventually, Luskan grew up around it, believing this area to be cursed, they stopped trying to fix it and just left it be. Except for adventurers who never can leave well enough alone.
  • Much of the area is as ruined as one would expect, but #13 finds us a way through to a house that seems unusual for its unruined status.
  • After Shohei and Ms. Lendiel check it for traps, we head inside to find it sparsely furnished and completely unlived in.
  • There is a chained and locked trapdoor in the floor, so naturally Mr. Darkfoot unlocks them, Shohei removes them, and Ms. Lendiel checks for traps.
  • She finds nothing, but Shohei says there is magic beneath the door – a glyph of warding.
  • They attach a rope to the handle and we all go back outside to pull it open from a distance.
  • A fireball goes off, adding this house to the many ruined buildings around it, but everyone insists on going back in to see what was locked up below.

Undead Abominations

  • We head down and in, to find a room full of piles of bones, unmoving.
  • When Mr. Shohei and Ms. Lendiel begin examining the first door in this room, the second opens and an abomination of a skeleton with three heads and wearing armor and wielding a staff steps out.
  • The piles of bones reanimate by his command and attack.
  • The three-headed thing casts Cloudkill on the room, and things get a little fuzzy to me after that, though I remember Ms. Rosewood repeatedly waking me up and dragging me out of the cloud.
  • After the fight, I want to crush the skull and dispel all magic from those skulls, but Mr. Darkfoot insists we use it to make our way through this place.
  • The rooms are, of course, Necromancy Laboratories, including an altar covered in runework like the skull.
  • Using the skull triggers an illusory message of a man in a cowl, robes, and gloves with a very strange book in hand.
  • The illusion reports that the Sword Lord and his Skeletal complement is progressing. He believes they will keep the attacking orc forces out, and ensure they can take back the city, saying the bones of the lost will be the foundation of the future. And identifying himself as Kurth.
  • After this message plays, the wall shifts and reveals another staircase.

Levers and Traps

  • The first room at the bottom of these stairs contained six skeletons in glass domed-cases attached to chains leading up to gears in the ceiling.
  • There were also two doors and two levers.
  • Mr. Darkfoot starts with the doors, removing the traps and unlocking them.
  • #13 suggests that we should not try the doors without using a lever or both, specifically the more used of the two levers.
  • Mr. Darkfoot climbs up and puts a crowbar through one of the chains near some crossbeams to prevent the attached dome from lifting. Others follow suit, but we don’t have enough for all the domes. Why would I carry a crowbar?!
  • Mr. Darkfoot pulls the well-worn lever and something shifts in the southern wall.
  • The southern door leads to a very narrow hall, to another door, which is quickly opened.
  • This opens into a work room with another obvious lever, a gate, and several flesh golems standing inert beyond it.
  • The lever seems to be hooked up to a runic plate, which Mr. Darkfoot says is lightning in nature, something that sends Flesh Golems into a frenzy.
  • Ms. Lendiel finds another lever worked into the room’s table.
  • It is well-used, so we pull it and hear a shift from the previous room.
  • Shohei, meanwhile, detects that there is something magic behind the golems and sends his mage hand off to check, and uncovers a scepter secured to the floor.
  • Back in the first room, we head through the eastern door, to another narrow hall, to another work room. This one with four work stations, two labeled levers, and another altar.
  • The levers are labeled Domes and Gate.
  • After some discussion, we agree to try the Gate lever and hear metal scrapping against stone.
  • Shohei and Mr. Trisfir return to the second room to try and retrieve the scepter.
  • They return after a few minutes without it, saying the claws holding it seems to be on a circuit with metal plates under the flesh golems.
  • The door in this third room seems unlocked, so we try to open it, but lightning shoots out as a glyph glows briefly.
  • Going back to the first room, we try the less-used lever and the glass domes begin to lift, we slam it back, but one skeleton escapes and we have to put it down.
  • Then, we return to the third room, leaving Tuppance to observe, and pull the Domes lever.
  • One of the crowbars breaks as the domes lift again, but we put the lever back before any more can.
  • We dispatch that skeleton, as well, and I fix Mr. Darkfoot’s crowbar.
  • Shohei and Mr. Trisfir decide to go and try to sever the connections to the Flesh Golems so the lightning lever can be used safely. The rest of us stay back in the third room with the Gate lever.
  • Tuppance is left, once again to watch, or rather, for Mr. Darkfoot to watch.
  • When they start breaking into the stone instead of chipping at the wires, Tuppance scolds them and they head back.
  • Except Mr. Trisfir bumps into one of the golems, disturbing it from its rest. Didn’t we say he wasn’t supposed to go on infiltration missions?
  • We all head in to deal with the awakened golem, and somehow manage not to wake the other two.
  • Once it is down, with the other two disconnected, we pull the lightning lever, which frees the scepter.
  • Back in the third room, we put it in the altar and get another illusory message.
  • Kurth tells us that the secondary precautions are in place, citing the things we have been fighting. Then mentions a crowning achievement called Valarian who will “cleanse this place.”
  • The southern door is now able to open, and is full of body parts, presumably the leftovers from the Flesh Golem creation. There are also a number of magic items hidden amongst the bodies.
  • And another stairwell leading down.

Mohrgs

  • There is a hall of three doors, the first must be expertly made because Mr. Darkfoot cannot get it open.
  • He has more luck with the second door, which opens to another workroom. This one full of ruined books, scrolls, and dripping skeletons with giant tongues.
  • I managed to turn two of the three and we take them down one at a time. There is a runic book spine that fits into an altar in this room.
  • This time the illusory Kurth has his hood back to reveal a ruined face and hideous wounds, which he seems to have try to fix with other bodies’ parts.
  • He reports that the orcs are pushing again. That he might not finish. That he wishes to save the city from damnation, and will leave the commander in charge.
  • Back in the hallway, #13 forces the first door open, and we find more of the same.
  • These skeletons manage to put Mr. Darkfoot down, but Ms. Rosewood saves him before I can get there, and nearly gets eaten herself for her trouble, but I keep her up until the others put the creature down.
  • This has been a lot of terrible fights, so we drag these two bodies into the other room and hunker down for a long rest.

Guardians

  • The southern door evaporates when we open it, leading to quite a large laboratory.
  • There are many undead wraiths in here, all standing at attention, and one wearing a full suit of armor.
  • The turned to face us as one, and the Commander, for that is surely who the armored one must be, slams sword to shield and speaks.
  • “Hold. We know not what drives you forward. Leave now or die. Valarian the Damned must not be let free.”
  • Seeing he was not simply mindless we ask after Valarian and are told it is Kurth’s final and more horrible creation, a beast of total destruction.
  • Kurth found it completely uncontrollable and set these to guard it forevermore and let none enter its chamber.
  • The group wants to kill this final abomination, despite my protests that we allow these wraiths to continue their vigil. We have killed too many of the other defenders they argue. I just want to go back to the Library.
  • They take a vote and I am overruled, though Mr. Darkfoot tries to get me to change my mind, but relents when I remind him I didn’t want to come to the ruins in the first place.
  • The fight is brutal, and we nearly lose several people, several times, but we are, unfortunately, victorious.
  • We sit down after the fight, to gather our resources and prepare for an even tougher battle ahead.

Fishers and Auntie

So, first things, apparently their winter god is a lady. I really do think they should talk to the Queen. She’d know what to do. The sleeping guy woke up. He says everyone will be real mad he’s not dead out in the field there. Says he told them it was dumb to kill people, so he got picked next to be killed. Says the winter god lady is crazy. Sounds like it might be the people who like her are. But says they won’t do it again for until the sky gets a new moon. I guess some lady named Shar takes or breaks the full moons, so another lady named Selune has to make a new one every month. This is a strange place. Anyway, the not-sleeping guy says he has somewhere to go and is going to sneak out during the execution this morning.

That was even stranger. They tied this guy in red robes to a stake in town square and lit him on fire. He just stood there and let them do it. Didn’t even move or cry or scream or everything. It made everyone real uncomfortable, him just staring at the people killing him for killing other people. Maybe he wasn’t really there, he’s got magic and everything. I wouldn’t just stand there. No way!

After, some lady with almost-elf ears and armor talks to Eggy. She says her name is Imdra something, and she’s Captain of the Guard around here. Says that wizard killed the last adventure group that was helping the town. Says we look like adventure folk. Doc asks if she knows where to get a cart, but she brushes him off. Wants us to go find some missing fishers. Like the birds? No, I guess she means men fishers. Whatcha gonna give us? She says she can give us some stuff from the dead wizard and a little bit of gold. Doc and Leshy say that it’s enough gold to probly get a cart. She also says we can loot whatever we find along the way. They ask about the wolves that tried to eat us, but she doesn’t know. Need money for a cart, so we agree to go look.

Sammy says we need snow shoes. I’ve got boots, they’re shoes for snow. But he wants us to wear these big wood and reed things to walk on top of the snow. They are Not good for sneaking. Eggy pays for mine and Doc’s. I now owe buying him something later. I don’t like it. I could have bought ours, first ship paid well enough, second ship hadn’t charged us for passage, yet. He also gets a bunch of tents, even though the lake is just north of town.

The not-sleeping man’s house is ransacked. He said we could take things, but it’s mostly been taken already. We find a fancy fishing pole. Eggy also finds some silver hidden under the floor. I guess people here aren’t so smart.

The lake isn’t far above town, so we start walking around it the way the Indy lady said to go. Find a little boat floating in the ice first. Saalym shoots it and Eggy pulls it in. There’s some fisher gear and empty bottles in there. Then some flying bird ladies come to talk. Eggy shoots at them though, and everyone else follows suit. I try to ask them about the men fishers, but Eggy kills one and the other flies away over the cliffs. Ugh! How are we supposed to find people if they just keep shooting? Saalym has a bit of a drink from the dead one.

We go in a cave. I take off my show shoes and Eggy puts them in his bag. Can’t sneak with those things on and they’re his anyway. Eggy says there’s tracks in there. Doc and I scout ahead until we find a frozen waterfall. Looks a bit tricky to get up alone, so we wait for everyone to catch up. Eggy shoots the waterfall. Ugh! His boom is way worse indoors! This makes the water mad and it attacks us. I’d attack us, too! We stop it from killing anyone, though, and there’s a mining pick and a backpack behind the water. I wonder if the water man used to be a miner and just got tired.

We help everyone climb up the waterfall so we can keep going. We find some stairs and they lead into a big room full of blood and bones. Even the bones of a giant man. Nobody finds anything but bones, so we keep going. Doc and I go down some more stairs to an even bigger room. This one has a nice hag lady in the middle. She’s cooking up a nice big stew and invites me and Doc to join her. It tastes way better than the porridge back in town this morning. There’s some dead people behind her. Must be what the stew is made from.

Everybody else gets there, but they get real mad. They say she killed the men fishers and that we shouldn’t be eating the stew. But that’s rude, you don’t turn down hospitality from a hag lady. Eggy, of course, starts shooting. Oh Man! Mom’s gonna be real mad if I kill a hag lady. So, I go look to see if the bodies really are the fishers, and everyone’s yelling at me and Doc. The lady’s gotta wisp, too, and Doc says it’s okay to kill those, there’s too many of the pests anyway. Then the lady tries to make a deal cuz something big is coming. I try to get everyone to take the deal, but they won’t, so she runs away. Eggy chases her, but it’s too late to worry about that because that big giant skeleton breaks through the wall and starts attacking people. He Hurt DOC! We smash him to bits!

After, Eggy drags back the hag lady, all dead. And everyone gets mad at Doc and me again for eating “people stew,” but I’m not people, and Saalym ate those bird people outside. They say that’s different because they were “monsters” and so was the lady. So, now I get mad, because I’ve got an Auntie who is a hag. Then Leshy gets mad and says I can’t have, but I do! She’s my Auntie and he doesn’t even Know Me! Eggy tries to stop the fighting, just asking we don’t tell the townspeople that we ate “people stew.” Fine, not going to lie, lying’s bad, but we don’t have to mention it. Leshy says we can just bring back some of their stuff and not the bodies.

Are we going then? Or we going to keep exploring the ice cave? It’s a really interesting cave.

Light and Dark

Papa always says I shouldn’t run up to everyone who comes to visit, but Big Yuyo will protect me if they’re bad. And these people weren’t bad, and some of them were barely bigger than me. They were all so nice, especially that Mimi one! And there was a shiny one! And a scary one, but not so scary. There’s way scarier things out here in the wastes. They’re mostly afraid of Big Yuyo though, he keeps us all safe. Auntie Jaller says so.

Papa made me go to bed, but after he and Pops went back down to the fire, and Gothby fell asleep, I snuck back out to Yuyo’s tail. Well, the part of his shell where the tail comes out, but he was sleeping, so it was inside. The soldiers always sing funny songs, and that big red guy, I think they called him Shaknul, he told a scary story about HUUUUUGE sharks! And the scary one went to say hi to the Acorn Sisters, but he didn’t give them anything. Nice Mimi did, though, she made a smoke dragon for them, I think they really liked that.

Then Mr Goorran started talking about all his magic stuff and they all got in a big discussion about money. Money is so silly. It’s just bits of metal. Why do people like it so much, I can find bits of metal one the ground all the time, doesn’t make them special. But anyway, I fell asleep then cuz money is boring.

Pops found me and carried me to bed, I guess, cuz I woke up there in the morning when Auntie Jaller came to get me for breakfast. We all went down to the campfire and I played with Mimi again while Auntie Jaller gave everybody some ash tea. She’s says it’s waste tea, made from the natural plants of the wastes, but I think it tastes awful. Mimi had a special bottle of something she drank and it made her really happy, but she didn’t have any to share, and Papa made me stop playing with her. Then the scary one said not to give your blood to strangers. Why would you do that? It’s MINE! Then they left, everybody leaves. Papa said we’re going to leave soon, too. I wonder if we’re going to go home or somewhere else this time. I miss home, but somewhere else is exciting!

~Lil’ Chespa

I was dead. I knew I was dead. I had accepted it. That cursed moon the night before proved it. The shadow demon was dead, and so was I. Dead in the rain in the Barbed Fields. It was an honorable death, and I would be reborn in the Light. A death with a sword in hand was the best one could ask for.

Then they came. Woke me back up, Pulled me from the brink. Just in time for the scavengers to come. Two Gloomstalkers descended, ready to harvest myself and my fellows. But they fought them off. Them and the skeletons that their screeches pulled from the ground. I don’t know how they did it. One named Kai’Osh stood over me, protecting me from the fight, keeping me safe and alive. Why am I alive?

Once the skeletons were scared off (that’s a powerful little autognome they’ve got there) or crushed and the stalkers put down, a young girl they called Urzutha began to cut them up. Harvested their eyes, teeth, claws, and webbing like it was nothing. I clocked a symbol on their metal friend. Slayers, of course. This couldn’t have been a contract, not like this, but once a Slayer, always a Slayer.

With their help, at least, my patrol won’t rise again. They load them and myself up on their mounts, and we ride. They’re a friendly bunch. The small ones keep everyone else entertained, it seems. Strange folk, but charming. They are all very kind to me, sharing what they have, and being very respectful of my friends’ bodies. Perhaps they will be useful back at the fort.

Ah Bazzoxan, home sour home. The moment we step inside, the horns start blaring and the mouthers start their babble. Yep, we’re home.

~ Captain Etupa Dreanelvie

Bones, Ghosts and Rotting Ogres

Scootch digs through Fishface’s ashes and takes out the bone candy he ate. Guess Scootch hungry. Poor Fishface, shouldn’ta killed his froggie.

Big rock guy blocking stairs. Wants us answer riddles. Scootch keeps getting the first one wrong, but make build wall to stop boulders rock guy throws at us til he gets right. Marta gets second one. Third one hard, too, but Skeeter guess right. Silly hall full of candles. Rock guy lets us through and we go down.

Find room with crunchy red glowy floor. Walls covered in rags and big pillar in center, Scootch says it got a dead guy in it, maybe under it. He got dead from disease or something. Big rock in front of it, so Margie has little rockman pick it up to look for dead guy’s treasure. Big mean ghosts come up instead. Including Fishface – but he not try kill us, he try kill bad ghosts. Rags on walls try to kill us too. Marta try to make friends, but we cut to ribbons instead. Turns out rock hide dead whole things with weapons and armor for taking.

Way out is bone closet. Quint and Skeeter get stuck in and bones attack. Skeeter go forward, Quint go back. Lots of noise and shouting until Ghostyface shatters bones and finds shiny stones.

Next room full of dead ogres, but they not stay dead til we beat ’em up again. Dead ogres already lost all their treasure though. Makes Quint sad and everyone else sleepy. Scootch starts gettin’ green and fuzzy, Skeeter cuddles him up to sleep.